A Conversation with a 10 Year-Old

(*Note: this conversation occurred after several attempts to get Alex into bed.  Also, please note, that Alex has a tested IQ of over 130)

I hear a bedroom door open and instantly know who's it is.

"Alex, go to bed.  If you get up again, you're losing your PSP for the rest of the month," I warn.

"Well, but, Aiden, I had something to tell mom.  I guess I'll tell you."

"No, you need to go to bed.  It can wait for morning, unless it's life-threatening or something," I respond, exasperated because we go through this bedtime nonsense every single night!

"Well, it's just that something scary happened, Aiden."

"Okay, fine.  What?"

"Well, you know that lamp you put by my bed? And you know that little knob you twist to turn it off and on.  Well, I got it stuck in my nose and I didn't think it was going to come back out."

Cue crickets to fill the extended silence as I stare at Alex in awe.  There is no answer to this statement.  There is nothing in the entire world I could possible say.  So, I say,

"Alex, go to bed."

"But Aiden, it was scary and now I can't fall asleep."

"Let me get this straight," I say.  "You, at age 10, decided to unscrew the knob for your lamp, shove it up your nose, all while you were supposed to be falling asleep and now you want my sympathy?  Go to bed.  I'm coming to take the lamp out of your room.  You've lost that privilege.  We'll see you in the morning.  And please, resist the urge to put anything else up your nose!"

Maybe I just don't understand 10 year-olds!